Things We Should Know While in Church
In the Orthodox Church there are numerous customs and traditions that are important parts of our worship. Some of these customs are universal to the Church, while some may vary from parish to parish, or cultural tradition. The following, adapted from an article by Father David Barr and others, addresses questions most often asked by those new to the faith, and even those not so new...
Preparing the Heart
The time spent prior to attending Church Services will have an effect on your ability to experience God's presence through the Liturgy and prayers of the Church. Whenever possible, one should begin to quiet one's heart in preparation for arrival at Church. This is particularly the case for the Divine Liturgy. It is good to put away worldly concerns, and to come a bit early instead of "rushing" to Church. The Jesus Prayer, for instance, may be said by the individual or family in the car on the way to services.
Conduct in the Church Temple
All should be done in a spirit of reverence and worship with the sense that one is standing in the Presence of the Lord, the Angels and the Saints. It is therefore not appropriate to chew gum, talk unnecessarily during services, or unnecessarily distract others. One should, however, feel very much at "home" in the Temple, moving when appropriate for the sake of veneration and worship, attending to the needs of children, and welcoming and assisting guests to experience Orthodox worship.
Entering the Church Temple
Arriving early to Church allows time for lighting candles and veneration of icons, as well as the "warming" of the heart for prayer. When entering the Church, cross yourself in prayer, bow and venerate the icons at the entrance. In order not to distract others from prayer or to show a lack of reverence, do not enter or leave the Temple during:
- The Epistle or Gospel reading;
- During the sermon (homily);
- During the Great Entrance;
- During the Anaphora and Consecration of the Holy Gifts at the Divine Liturgy;
- On all occasions when the Priest turns toward the people.
Standing vs. Sitting
The traditional posture for prayer and worship in the Orthodox Church is to stand. In “Orthodox countries” there are usually no pews in the churches. Chairs or benches on the side walls are reserved for those who need them, i.e. the elderly, infirm, “with child”, etc. In North America, some Orthodox faithful have introduced pews into their churches thus creating the artificial “need” to figure out when to sit and when to stand. First of all, it is fully acceptable (actually preferable) to stand for the entire service. However, when someone has special needs and cannot stand for the entire service, there are times when one should definitely stand.
At Divine Liturgy, we stand for:
- The beginning of the service: “Blessed is the Kingdom...”
- All Litanies
- The Small Entrance - with the Gospel
- Gospel Reading
- The Great Entrance - with the the Chalice
- The Creed
- The Lord's Prayer
- The Anaphora (beginning with “Let us stand aright, let us stand with fear . . . ” through the Hymn to the Theotokos)
- The distribution of Holy Communion, i.e. the Body and Blood of Christ in our midst, through the end of the
- Dismissal
- When the Priest faces the people (e.g. at the giving of the Peace)
As you can see, this leaves little time for sitting. When in doubt, stand. It is never wrong to stand in church.
Outside of the Divine Liturgy, we stand:
- When the "royal doors" of the altar are opened, as a high point in the service is about to take place.
- In general when the Priest comes out of the altar facing the people or censing
Moving vs Standing Still
At all times in church one should stand as still and quietly as possible and vigorously train children to do the same, but there are times when there should be absolutely no moving about in church:
- During the reading of the Six Psalms (at the beginning of Matins or about a third of the way through a Vigil Service—when the psalm reader stands in the centre of the church),
- During any reading of the Gospel at any service,
- During the reading of special prayers by the priest, in the Divine Liturgy during the Cherubic Hymn
- From the beginning of the Creed until the end of the consecration (i.e. until the priest blesses after the consecration with the words: "And the mercies of our great God and Saviour Jesus Christ be with you all"),
- During any recitation of the Lord’s Prayer,
- At "Holy Things for the Holy,"
- At any time the priest gives the blessing.
If you come into church late, it is a good idea to stand for a moment and listen to ascertain whether it is appropriate to move around, venerate icons or offer candles at that point
Lighting Candles
Lighting candles is an important part of Orthodox worship. We light them as we pray, making an offering to accompany our prayers. Orthodox typically light candles upon entering the church, during or after venerating the icons. If a service is already in progress, a good rule of thumb is to do it before the service begins, or when the priest is inside the altar, and it is not a point in the service that prohibits movement.
Entering Church (Late)
The time to arrive at church is before the service starts, but for some it has become the custom — or rather the bad habit — to come to church late. Since this is entirely inappropriate, without due cause, for a Christian who has come to worship God, the point is mute. The same goes for leaving services early. Experience testifies that coming to Church late is more a matter of “habit” than circumstance: there are those who come late, and those who don't. (NOTE: The Ninth Apostolic Canon forbids us to arrive late at the Divine Liturgy or to leave before the end of services.)
If you arrive after the Divine Liturgy begins, try to enter the church quietly — and observe what is happening. If the Epistle or Gospel is being read or the Little or Great Entrance is taking place, wait until it is finished to enter. If the priest is giving the sermon, enter but stay in the back until he has concluded. If in doubt, check with one of the ushers to see if it is a good time to seat yourself.
Try not to interrupt the Liturgy with you entrance. Some rules of thumb: Those who arrive late without “good cause” should generally refrain from partaking of the Eucharist that day. Only you know if late arrival was with good cause, but should you arrive after the reading of the Gospel, in all cases you should refrain from Holy Communion. We only receive with “proper preparation” for Holy Communion, and that assumes the ascetical effort of arriving on time for the Divine Services.
Crossing One’s Legs
In many cultures throughout the world, crossing one's legs is taboo and considered very disrespectful. In North America there are no real taboos against such action, rather, we tend to cross our legs to get comfortable. Should we do so in church? No. Not because it is “wrong” for us ever to cross our legs, but because it is too casual—and too relaxed—for being in the presence of God. When we get settled in our favorite chair at home, we lean back, kick up our legs, and allow our minds to wander. Remember, sitting in church is a concession, not the norm of prayer. We should remain attentive (i.e.: “Let us attend”) at all times as a soldier prepared for (spiritual) battle before his commander. Should we sit, we must do so attentively and not too comfortably that our minds not wander off the “one thing needful.”
Leaving Before Dismissal – In and Out –
Leaving church before the Dismissal - besides being rude - deprives us of a blessing. Worship has a beginning (“Blessed is the Kingdom…”) and an end (“Let us depart in peace…”). To leave immediately after Communion is to treat church like a fast food restaurant where we come and go as we please. We live in a fast-paced world where we seem to be hurrying from place to place. But in God’s presence, we need to make every attempt to fight this pressure to move on to the next thing on the day’s agenda.
Certainly parents should have ready access to the doors to take small children out if they are distracting or need a short break—for this reason the doors are to be accessible, i.e. let us avoid the temptation to congregate around the back and the door, and challenge ourselves to move forward into the Nave.
A Word About Lipstick
Lipstick looks terrible smeared on icons, crosses, the communion spoon, and the priest’s or bishop's hand. Hand-written icons have been ruined by lipstick; and even though the cross or spoon can usually be cleaned after everyone venerates, it’s not very considerate to those who follow. What is the answer? If one insists on wearing lipstick to church, blot your lips well before venerating.... Point of consideration: God, Whom we alone come before in Liturgy, is not impressed with our external attractiveness, but with the adorning of our souls in humility, good works, and piety.
Venerating Icons
When you enter the church, it is traditional to venerate the icons. Usually there are icons at the entrance to the church and many churches have icon stands in the front as well. When venerating (kissing) and icon, pay attention to where you kiss. It is not proper to kiss an icon in the face.
When you approach and icon to venerate it, kiss the gospel, scroll, or hand cross in the hand of the person in the icon, or kiss the hand or foot of the person depicted. As you venerate and icon, show proper respect to the person depicted in the icon — the same respect you would show the person by venerating him or her in an appropriate place. And remember, blot off your lipstick before kissing.
Talking During Church
It just isn’t appropriate to greet people and have a conversation with them during the services. Besides being disrespectful toward God Who is present, it is distracting for others who are striving to pray. This rule includes all services of the Church, whether it be the Hours read prior to Divine Liturgy, or the priest hearing Confessions after Vespers. It is best to save conversation until you have stepped out or in the fellowship hall, inviting guests for a visit.
Kiss (Don't Shake) the Bishop’s and Priest’s Hand
The proper way to greet a bishop or priest is to ask his blessing and kiss his right hand. How do you do this? Approach the bishop or priest with your right hand open, over your left (palms up) and say, “Father, bless” , or “Master, bless” in the case of a bishop (He will make the sign of the cross, and place his right hand over yours at which time you bow to kiss). When you kiss their hands, you show respect for their office. This is appropriate and traditional, rather than shaking their hands. When you receive such a blessing it is Christ Himself who offers the blessing through the hand of the priest or bishop. Who of us would not want all of Christ’s blessings we can get?
Sunday Dress
There was a time when people put on their “Sunday best” to go to church. By contrast, there is today not an insignificant backlash against such propriety. Many contemporary churches innocently flaunt a “come as you are”; pitch as part of their advertising ploy. Though God does not demand us to “dress up” for Him (as though He is in any way impressed by our external appearance), the fact is, as followers of Christ in all areas of our life, we should offer Christ our “best” and not just our “leftovers” (c.f. Cain and Abel). Our dress should always, especially at church, be becoming of a Christian. We dress modestly, not in a flashy way that merely brings attention to ourselves. Here are some guidelines:
Children: Only young children are allowed to wear shorts to church—but not athletic shorts, cut-offs, or “spandex” (which are not appropriate for adults either). Tennis shoes that “light up” should probably be avoided, especially for altar servers, in that they draw attention away from prayer. No one should wear T-shirts with any kind of writing on them (“This Bud’s for You!” is definitely out).
Women: Dresses are certainly most appropriate, and are to be modest (i.e. tank tops, short skirts, and skin-tight dresses serve only one purpose contrary to the aim of being in Church). Headcoverings are encouraged and appropriate. Slacks and pant-suites are an accepted part of our culture, however tight jeans and spandex type wear are never appropriate.
Men: Men are also to dress modestly as befits a follower of Christ. While coat and tie are by no means mandatory, shirts with collars and clean pants / slacks are not too much to ask. Again, shorts are to be avoided, particularly on Sunday morning.
The above guidelines may be adjusted for services outside of Divine Liturgy, i.e. Vespers. It is better to be in church for prayer, than to not come at all for mere lack of a change of clothes—as may be the case when coming from a Saturday outing, or work-party, etc. Finally, this is not a call for someone to buy a whole new wardrobe just to be a part of the Church! Use your best judgment and good taste when it comes to Church. You don't go to church to be seen by people—you go to present yourself before, and to worship, God.
Making the Sign of the Cross
A person looking around on a Sunday morning may notice that different people cross themselves at different times. To a certain extent, when to cross oneself is a matter of personal piety and not of dogma. However, there are times when it is specifically proper to cross yourself, and times when you should not.
To cross:
- Upon entering and departing from the Church Temple;
- At the beginning and end of services;
- At every mention of the Holy Trinity (Father, Son and Holy Spirit);
- Before venerating or being blessed with an icon, Gospel, or Cross;
- Before approaching and after backing away from the chalice
- During the Trisagion (thrice-holy) prayers or hymn; and
- When passing before the Altar.
- At any prayerful invocation or blessing of God.
Not to Cross, only Bow the Head .
- When the priest exclaims, "Peace be to all"
- At the exclamation, "Bow your heads unto the Lord"
- When the priest blesses the faithful with his hand
- When the priest censes the people
- When the priest bows toward the people during the services; and
- During the Great Entrance (in reverence for the Holy Gifts).
- When at the chalice for communion,
In receiving a blessing from a bishop or priest one does not make the sign of the cross beforehand (kissing the right hand of the bishop or priest is appropriate, but not making the sign of the cross).. “In this way ought we to distinguish between reverence toward holy things and toward persons” (Jordanville Prayerbook).
Bows and Prostrations
- Metania - a bow from the waist with the hand extending toward the ground.
- Prostration - a full bow, kneeling and place the head to the ground.
It is customary to make one, or often three, metania before venerating an icon, relic or other holy thing. They may also be made at times during the Divine Liturgy (for instance before the reading of the Gospel). Prostrations are made more often during fasting seasons, especially the penitential season of Great Lent (for instance with the "Prayer of St. Ephraim the Syrian"). In order to allow us to enter into the joy and victory of the Resurrection (by which God has made us to "stand upright,") the Church canons forbid penitential acts of prostration on Sundays and the fifty days between Pascha and Pentecost. However, small bows (metania) may be made.
Snacks for Children
Parents often bring little snacks for young children to keep them occupied and quiet in church. This is fine as long as it is discreet and quiet and the parent sees to cleaning up any leftovers. By the time a child is 3-4 years old this will most likely be unnecessary. And by the time a child reaches age 7 they are mostly capable of fasting the entire morning of Holy Communion (or at least cutting back on breakfast). For those children who do require snacks during service, please refrain from feeding them, even a bottle, while in line for Communion, as they ought to come to the Holy Mysteries without food already in their mouths. Chewing gum is never appropriate in church.
Receiving Holy Communion
Although no one should come to the Divine Liturgy late, if one does come as late as after the reading of the Gospel, he or she should not receive Holy Communion. In order to receive Holy Communion a person must:
- Be Baptized (or Chrismated) into the canonical Orthodox Church.
- Be prepared by prayer, repentance (and recent Confession), and fasting from at least 12 midnight the night before from food, drink, and smoking.
- Observe the Church Fast.
- Attend Vespers on a regular basis (unless otherwise stated by your pastor).
- Seek to be reconciled with fellow Orthodox Christians, particularly of the community.
Handling the Holy Bread / “Antidoron”
After taking Communion, at the end of the Divine Liturgy, and at Vespers with a “Litya” or “Blessing of Bread", it is traditional to eat a piece of holy bread or antidoron—the left-over bread from which Holy Communion was prepared and various commemorations made. While antidoron is not the Body and Blood of Christ, it is blessed bread, and as such, we should take precaution to eat it carefully so that crumbs don’t fall to be trampled underfoot. Monitor the children as they take the antidoron, teaching them to eat respectfully.
Final Thought
Our American culture of the 21st Century is rather casual, even subtly anarchist, in its approach to life. Dress, music, language, values, morals, and entertainment all reflect a trend to “downgrade” life from what God intended it to be. We mustn't allow this prevailing tendency to enter into our Christian piety, whether at home or at church. Most church etiquette is based on simple common sense and a respect for God and others. We are in church to worship God in Holy Trinity. The priest announces, “In the fear of God, with faith and love, draw near.” If we approach our lives and our worship together with this in mind, then we will be people of proper church etiquette.
